Because I admit my views are farfetched, my apologies to professors of economics. Truth is, I can’t remember if I ever took an econ class in college. Probably not. So I ask forgiveness from devotees of Adam Smith, Karl Marx, John Maynard Keynes, and all lofty thinking economists from schools of hardcore socialism to unshakeable capitalism, as I proclaim my pet theory, which at least deserves a hearing before we all bend over laughing.
Daily we receive dozens of requests, appeals to donate to sound causes: political organizations, food banks, medical services in foreign places, colleges and universities, animal shelters, legal institutions, faith groups, NPR, non-profits of innumerable varieties, and an assortment of community service concerns. These appeals, in my view, fall in the category of begging in the guise of fundraising. I’m sure there is a master list shared among askers comprised of people who might, just maybe, shell out a few dollars for a good cause. As a minimum, these mendicants must have a system akin to the hobo codes during the Great Depression (a circle with an X in the middle meant good place for a handout). Fund raisers, marketers, influencers, a legion of money grubbers, modern Diageneses each making a case for why I should immediately contribute. They usually have a deadline, of course, which happens to be coming up in a few hours, so you’ll understand the dire nature of the request. Often they also have arranged for matching funds—anyway, that’s the claim. You fork over twenty-five bucks, and they have found a more affluent donor willing to match that and then some. How can anyone pass on such a offer?
My cynical thought: our economy, the marketing of this, that, and the other, and our need for more money in every coffer amounts to begging or its near cousin, the guy who always asks for a loan. Our system of economics has a platform, and on it someone is making an appeal which sounds very much like begging. I know panhandlers don’t usually offer a service or product, so they are unarguably beggars. But the rest of the supplicants hustling for people’s money are no different or morally superior in their hands-out money grubbing. How can you pass this deal by? Just three easy payments. You’ll be sorry if you don’t sign on the dotted line. Have you been injured in an auto accident? Ask your doctor about Zqxerizi. This credit card is killing it. This is the deal of the century! They implore us just like the ragman kneeling on the street who asks for a dollar so he can buy a beer, except the ragman is a smidgeon more truthful.
Forgive me, or don’t, as I suggest our present economic scheme is based on begging. Truly. Marketing begets begging. Daily we confront a wave of hustlers. We face street beggars, online beggars, Madison Avenue beggars, Washington D.C. beggars, Wall Street beggars, beggars for religious causes, bamboozlers for every possible cause, product, or service. Most of these corporate hornswogglers offer us something in return for our dollars, I know, but many outfits promote exaggerated service and/or substandard products, so I openhandedly classify them as ersatz beggars, beggars galore! Beggars everywhere! In my view, when a stakeholder puts himself or herself out-front and asks for money, regardless of the value of the transaction, that person is a beggar. As such, I classify most salespeople as beggars because their pitches are extended hands-out, gimme gimme gimme.
Sure, I know, down-and-out panhandlers offer no product or service. They just want you to fork over a few bucks for the sake of kindness. The line blurs, though, between these beggars and all the other beggars who cup their hands and ask for money, especially considering the hectoring we suffer each day from a choir of beggars. Someone wants access to our wallets—that’s the sum of all those interactions online and via mass media. The hard sell, the soft sell, the upsell, the oversell—all spitfire begging.
Perhaps begging is innately human, which doesn’t make it good or bad, I guess. On his deathbed, his final words, Martin Luther said, “We are all beggars.” I’m not sure exactly what the good doctor meant by that, but he probably was speaking about how each of us needs grace and mercy from a higher power.
Can’t argue with that reasoning. Please check out my go-fund-me-page. Do you think I write this stuff for the fun?