Perhaps decency never had priority status in America, but if it did, it must have died. Didn’t we once find shame in belittlement of others and in impugning a person’s character? Didn’t we once teach people not to lie? Didn’t the Great Generation display ethical standards, emphasizing truthfulness, respect, kindness, and empathy? And weren’t those values what we taught our children? One certainty: over the last few decades the ethics of conduct in political debate and social encounters has turned away from whatever decency we may have once demonstrated. It’s as if the Civil War never ended. Red set against Blue. MAGA versus Woke. Texas versus California. New York versus Florida, billionaires versus salaried workers (it is alleged Elon Musk’s net worth is equal to or larger than 170 million US citizens’ net worth). Anti-gay voices set against the LGBT+ community. Christian Nationalists versus mainstream Christians. The whole country needs anger management workshops. Outrage is as common as sirens.
Not long ago I asked a colleague how his anger management class was going and he said, “Erm, it makes me so mad!” Everyone is outraged. When social media grew deep roots into the groundwork of American life, sniping and appalling manners became almost normal, often even admired, depending which side of an issue one found oneself.
The other day, I received an email from George Conway, Democrat, a candidate for Congress, asserting that Trump is “a fucking piece of shit.” Wow, Conway does not keep his judgement close to his vest, but how can we endorse his statesmanship or his choice of words. Not to be surpassed in the profanity sector, Trump sent an Easter message to Iran “Open the Fuckn’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah.” Trump’s language and tone tell us what sort of person he is. Whatever your conclusion about him as President, he decidedly proves himself to be a lousy human being.
Sarcasm, scorn, and inflammatory attacks, often autonomous, have become common parlance, something akin to schoolyard hostilities. Good manners be damned, for now the game is on and the object is to win at the expense of those who oppose you. Winning means something like trolling the trolls with bad manners and invective galore. Hurtful and petty, the insults have become common coin on the internet and in the public square. Perhaps we lost our way when John F. Kennedy was assassinated, or when Martin Luther King was murdered, or when the Vietnam war divided us, or, well, who knows when or if it happened. But if we ever were guided by a sense of decency, we sure as death in the morgue no longer have it. The culture of decency, if it ever existed, has been replaced by a culture of contempt. That goes for Republicans and Democrats, conservatives and liberals, woke folks and traditionalists, cancel cultural and anti-cancel culture interests.
The Marquis of Queensbury boxing rules might be worth consulting for those among us who have lost a semblance of courtesy. Those rules represent the epitome of sportsmanship and fair play, decency factors, even has one tries to knock out an opponent. Recently, our behavior suggests we enjoy hitting below the belt and kicking our opponent when he’s down. Vengeance has replaced charity. Hatred has replaced Love.
You may recall Rodney King who was severely beaten prior to the 1992 Los Angeles riots. His plea for goodwill and peace: "People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?"
Good question, Rodney. Can we?